If you have seen my last couple of blog posts, yes….I have eluded to the decision my husband and I have made to adopt a child.
We began our adoption process back in October….literally 2 weeks after I sold all of our baby items on my garage sale. We had kept only Ava’s crib and my very favorite of her outfits. We thought our family was done. Psyche! Isn’t it funny when you think you know what “the plan” is….and then God comes in giggling and just.messssssses.with.it. Don’t you love His sense of humor?
And so, our adoption process began 8 months ago.
At this point, our home study is complete. We are approved with an agency here in Kansas City and another agency in a different state. We have filled out every adoption form known to man. We have done every physical required. We have been deemed as “not crazy” and actually as “great parents” by the adoption advocate. We have an attorney ready to go. We have had friends give us their strollers and their Bumbos. We have a plan in place to execute “musical bedrooms” whenever we get “the call”. We have her name picked out. We are ready to go. Except for one thing…..there are no babies up for adoption with either agency. There are not even any pregnant women/girls considering adoption with either agency. HUH????
I had a long conversation with my adoption coordinator last week. She is just as stunned in the low number of adoptions as we are. While I hope that number is lowering for positive reasons, it’s hard to say. When I asked her what she thinks may be a contributing factor to such few children being placed for adoption, she said the MTV show “16 & Pregnant” is definitely NOT helping by glamorizing teen parents. I was shocked when last week one of the adoption agencies that I “like” on Facebook posted that same TV show just contacted her to see if she had any teens that may be candidates to be on their show. It gives me a tummy ache.
And so, we have been given the advice to share our story. To tell as many people as possible that we are trying to adopt in hopes that someone will know someone who will know someone who isn’t ready to parent their child. And so I come to you today…..transparent…..to tell you what our family is believing for.
Our only real conviction is that we are to adopt a GIRL. My dreams have been about a girl. I want another girl. Our boys want a girl. My baby girl wants a girl. My husband just wants me happy. So we are unanimous on the “girl” part.
We are open to adopting a child of any race. We are relatively certain based on many circumstances that only God himself could orchestrate, that our next child will NOT be Caucasian and we are 110% on board with that. We have taken a trans racial adoption class. We have read information on trans racial adoptions. We have friends who have adopted trans racially. We are certain we will be learning as we go, but we are excited!
After researching the facts and talking to many other adoptive parents, we have decided we are open to an “OPEN” adoption. Or to a semi-open. We are nervous about what all of that may look like, but believe it’s best for the emotional well being of our child. And we are committed to making choices based on fact and our convictions rather than fear.
And finally, we would adopt a child that is NOT a newborn. We don’t think it is wise for our family to mess with the birth order of our home. So, the little girl would have to be under the age of 3. Generally, if a child is not a newborn they are tangled up in the foster care system of a state. And that is something we don’t think we have the grace for at this point….but God may change our hearts.
So…..that’s our big news. I will tell you friends….this adoption thing is painful. It’s a waiting game. Its a lesson in patience. It reveals things to yourself about yourself that are hard to look at and acknowledge. It’s scary. It makes you have tougher skin. And yet it makes your heart softer. It’s a beautiful dance.
I will write more about our decision to adopt at another time. For now, this is as much as this momma’s vulnerable heart is willing to share.
Please pray for our family as we continue this journey. And please tell others about our story. We are so blessed to have this blog following as a platform…..thank you.
Praying for you and your family! I’m sure God has a plan and you guys will be blessed with the daughter that is meant to be yours 🙂 hugs from Conroe, Texas!
Oh, my heart is full of joy at reading this, now that you’ve gone “public.” I am praying for you, and truly feel so blessed to be on this journey with you.
That’s so amazing that you desire to bring a child in need of a family into your own. My sister & brother-in-law just adopted siblings through the foster system in Indiana. To see the two of them become a family was a heartwarming thing. We’re dealing with secondary fertility issues and I often think of adopting. Unfortunately being military, we don’t have the most stable homelife. I’m so thrilled that y’all are able to do it. Prayers for you and the mother that will bring a new little soul into your lives.
Contact KVC or any other Kansas approved foster care agency. We were able to adopt a wonderful African American newborn boy. May take you a couple of foster placements to get the situation but it has worked out for more families than I can say. If you have Native American heritage your opportunities can increase from there. State pays for everything and the tax benefits are amazing. You can also say I only want newborn girls.
Hi Jennifer! I don’t usually comment, but I wanted to let you know that you have my prayers. Thank you for sharing your heart with us today. I know God will bless you beyond measure throughout this journey…but I’ll still pray that it’s as painless as possible 🙂 Hugs!
SO EXCITED FOR YOU! I will definitely be praying for you during this journey!
That is exciting news. Your journey on the adoption rollercoaster will definitely strengthen your family and your hearts. I think it’s a great idea to voice your efforts on your blog…you never know where that can lead you!
Jennifer, I don’t usually comment either, but we adopted a beautiful baby girl from Austin, Texas 4 years ago. The process is grueling! We got all our money into the agency in November; in January, we were picked by a birth mommy and she delivered in May. After having 3 boys, she is a gift from above and He (the Lord) was involved every step of the way! You have all my prayers and blessings and if you want any advice on what I would do differently, please email me at [email protected]; I’d love to tell you what worked and what didn’t for us. We live in St. Peters, Missouri. BTW, love your blog….you are so talented;) God Bless!!!!
Jennifer, thanks for sharing. I am so excited for you both. A couple from our church did the same thing. They asked people to spread the word that they were looking to adopt and one week before turning in their packet for international adoption they received a call about twins. They adopted two beautiful healthy girls who I have the privilege to keep in the nursery.What blessings they are!!
I feel lead to foster a child. I’m still waiting for my husband to catch up with me on this. Hopefully, we will soon be on the same page and be able to move forward. I’ll be praying for you.
How wonderful. I’m looking forward to reading more about your journey. We have always hoped to adopt ‘someday’ when our own kids were a little older.
I know God already has the perfect next member of your family all lined up. Cheers!
I look forward to hearing about your adoption journey. My husband and I adopted both of our girls at birth. They are each a special blessing. Will be praying for your family through this exciting time.
such exciting news for you and your family. what a wonderful journey you are embarking on. yes, it is a struggle at the beginning but any friend that has adopted forgets that process after a few years. (kind of like we sometimes forget that our first was in vitro after several years of trying)
i have a desire to adopt a fourth, but my husband is leaning towards fostering many children over time.
PS. great decision to not upset the apple cart in regards to birth order!
PPS. don’t your children already play musical beds? i recall that from a previous post cause ours do the same thing on the weekends.
Praying for you and your family. this is so amazing. Thanks for sharing…Pat H
I also have never commented, but had to tell you that adoption is the best! We adopted our first and we waiting for the second. There is nothing like it. Just remember your child will find you.
Oh I am so happy and excited for you and your family on this journey! I will be praying my little heart out for you and believing for a smooth transition. I have always wanted to adopt a baby…who knows what the Lord has in store for us. Thank you for sharing. Love and prayers coming your way!
I’m so VERY, VERY happy for you! I’ve followed your blog for a long time and I adore everything that you’ve done…all your work is amazing but this takes it all! Adoption will change your life forever. My husband and I have two blessings that God sent us and they came by detour of South Korea. Here’s a link about our Gotcha Day.http://wedemeyerfamily.blogspot.com/2010/11/happy-10-yr-gotcha-day-makenzie.html
So excited for you! And scared…can I say that on here?
She is already a blessed little girl!
Be prepared for the worse and hope for the best.
We are believers too, but that does not mean that God protects us from heart breaking situations.
We had two failed biracial domestic adoptions 6 years ago. I was heartbroken.I never thought that would happen to us. After two failed adoptions,we gave up!!( both for different reasons,birthmom changed her mind after we held the baby,unethical practice from a Christian agency)
But God had a much bigger and better plan.(if only we would trust him while were in the pain). He open the door for a international adoption to China. And today I thank him every single day for my beautiful Caeleigh. You see, had those two other adoptions worked out, we would not have our precious girl.
Adoption is not always pretty but what a blessing it is. God’s blessings to you!!Karen
I will be praying for you and I will also send out some emails to church friends.
I was adopted and it’s beautiful!
pull down the lap bar and ride the ride! Love you.
Congrats on becoming paper pregnant!
I have a couple friends who follow your blog and every once in a while I take a peek to view your projects.
My son joined our family through adoption last year. One way to get the word out is through pass-along cards. we used this online company and they do great work at the best price. http://www.adoptionpassalongcards.com/