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Our first appointment with foster care— and Ava was a cow

  • March 23, 2012
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So a social worker from Jackson County came to visit our home this week. This was literally the first step in our foster-to-adopt process.  We do not live in Jackson County, but are choosing to get certified in that county as they have more kids in foster care than any other county in Kansas City.

The social worker said she would be looking at our home to determine if it looked safe. To see if everything appeared normal. If we had enough room for a 4th child…..  yada yada yada.

I secretly half-hoped she would say our house was too small so that we would have to build a new one…..but no such luck. The husband breathed a sigh of relief! ha!

I wasn’t really nervous. Having already been through a home study, I knew basically what they were looking for.

They really don’t care that I just shut the door on the very overflowing laundry room.

Or that I haven’t cleaned my shower in months.

Or that Ava just ate a piece of candy she found on the floor.

They just want to make sure everything looks on the up and up.

Which is kind of funny……because ANYONE can act “normal” for 30 minutes, can’t they???

The questions the state asks are VERY different from the private adoption agencies we are signed with. She asked our kids to leave the room because of the question’s “sensitive nature”.  And thank goodness.

Her first few questions were like these:

  • Will you commit to not use binding and tying as a form of punishment for a child placed in your home?
  • Will you not withhold food as a means of punishment for a child placed in your home?
  • Will you not lock a child out of your home as a means of punishment?

This momma’s heart hurt as her questions sank in.

There are so many hurting children in this world.  What have we done to them Lord?  If nothing else, have we just looked away????   I will never understand how a parent can hurt their child like that. It makes no sense.  The gravity of it just pains me.

But, we survived the question and answer session.

We passed the “home inspection”.

We asked a few questions, including my 10 year old who asked “so can you help us get a 1 or 2 year old sister?”   Bless his heart.

And she left.

We start 13 weeks of foster class training the first week of May.

And I secretly freak out that this is really the direction God is wooing us in.

And I breathed a sigh of relief that our social worker was out the door before my Ava did this:

She climbed onto the banister and said “look mom…..I am a cow”.   And moo’d.

Yep,  this is “normal”.

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9 comments
  1. Julie says:
    March 23, 2012 at 3:08 am

    Foster kids will be so blessed to be in your home!

  2. KBFishhook says:
    March 23, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Love it – your next step and Mooing like a cow. Doesn’t sound any crazier (and surprisingly less sane) than my house.
    It seems to me that the kids in the foster system are often the ones who actually haven’t seen unconditional love, ever. Nor have some of them seen random acts of kindness. God has blessed you with children from your body many times and now he is ready to show you how wonderful a mother you really are by giving you a child that hasn’t had one as great as you are.

  3. KBFishhook says:
    March 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    In case it matters, KBFishhook is Kim, who’s been following you, your work and your blog for almost a year. 🙂

  4. Goings on at the Glenn's says:
    March 23, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    It IS sooo sad what some kids have to live through. I could tell you horror stories. Congratulations on passing the home inspection. Good luck with your training. It IS a ton of information to take in but soooo worth it. Just be prepared too. The foster care system can be a very broken thing as well. Just open your heart and let God do the rest.

  5. Gypsy Heart says:
    March 24, 2012 at 12:33 am

    Well, your home is “normal”…and full of love! It made my eyes leak to read about the questions asked. It absolutely blows my mind that there are actually people in the world that would even think to do these things.

    Perhaps this is the path God is leading you down…to help rescue one of these precious children.

    Brightest blessings,
    Pat

  6. Frugal Jen says:
    March 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    What a blessing and safe place you will provide a foster child! I would have never thought those questions would be asked. It’s sad that some people hurt the innocent sweet children. Breaks my heart.

  7. Extra! Extra! Blog All About It says:
    April 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    We are adopting via foster care in GA. Had to go to a formal orientation and then IMPACT training. First home study visit was one of our “teachers” and the final will be with her as well. Keeping your family in my prayers. It won’t be easy adopting a foster child, but I do believe the blessings are worth more than any struggle we’ll go through.

    Blessings,
    Kimberly

  8. Extra! Extra! Blog All About It says:
    April 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    We are adopting via foster care in GA. Had to go to a formal orientation and then IMPACT training. First home study visit was one of our “teachers” and the final will be with her as well. Keeping your family in my prayers. It won’t be easy adopting a foster child, but I do believe the blessings are worth more than any struggle we’ll go through.

    Blessings,
    Kimberly

  9. Extra! Extra! Blog All About It says:
    April 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    We are adopting via foster care in GA. Had to go to a formal orientation and then IMPACT training. First home study visit was one of our “teachers” and the final will be with her as well. Keeping your family in my prayers. It won’t be easy adopting a foster child, but I do believe the blessings are worth more than any struggle we’ll go through.

    Blessings,
    Kimberly

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