I thought I was a "girl mom".... - Jennifer Allwood Home

I grew up with 2 brothers, so never had experience of having a sister.

As a young adult, I gained 4 stepbrothers. So now, I am the only girl in our family with 6 brothers. I adore my brothers, but I have longed for someone to do “girl stuff” with for a long time.

I always thought I would get to do that girl stuff when I had daughters of my own. I am a girlie girl…..so I assumed I was meant to be a “girl mom”. I wanted baby girls to dress up, to play with, to share secrets with, to color pictures with. It just seemed obvious to me since I am so girlie….that I would birth girls.

However, my firstborn child was a boy. He was (and is) a rambunctious boy’s boy. A strong willed, sweaty, going-100-mph-all-the-time boy’s boy. And he still is. He loved cars and Legos and Shrek and he had my heart from the minute I laid eyes on him. I was smitten by a baby boy. And still am.

Less than 2 years later, I was pregnant again….certain this child was a girl. I was stunned when the stenographer told me it was another boy. Cuz’ I was meant to be a “girl mom”, remember? I adored my first son, but I just KNEW I was destined for a house of girls.

My second born son has been an absolute gift. He was (and is) an easy boy, with a grateful heart and a passion for cuddling his momma and tree climbing. He carries little “guys” in his pockets and makes “war noises” whenever he is playing. I was smitten by yet another baby boy. And still am.

My third child turned out to be a girl I had prayed for. And I adore her with every fiber in my being. But being a “girl mom” is not quite like I expected.

Oh, I got to dress my daughter up just like I wanted….until she turned about 3. Then suddenly she had an opinion on her clothing. And rarely does it jive with my opinion. And when her opinion is given at an octave that can shatter glass with a faucet of tears turned on high….it doesn’t seem worth arguing over an outfit anymore. So I am saying that all to say, at 4…I no longer get to dress her up.

When I first started to color pictures with my daughter (did I mention I am a painter??)…..she would break the crayons. Not exactly what I pictured.

She certainly can’t keep a secret (but she is only 4…so give her time), but we do enjoy plenty of “girl stuff” together. I am smitten with my girl as well.

But, now that I have children of each sex, I know there is just SOMETHING about being a mom to a boy that I wouldn’t trade for the world. There is a mother/son bond that is so special, so sacred. Not to say I don’t have an equally amazing bond with my daughter….but the bonds are just different.

I wanted a girl to dress up with…..but my boys have a trunk full of Batman suits and FBI agent gear and old karate outfits and Superman capes. What can compare to taking a little Batman into the grocery store with me?? Nothing I tell you. I used to let my little men go out in dress up wherever we went and I adored it.

I wanted a girl to play with…..but now I play basketball in the street with my 10 year old. And I love it.

If I want to fill my 8 year old boy’s emotional bucket….I will lay down on the floor with him and “play guys” (little figurines). I am actually more comfortable with that play that I am with playing dolls. But I thought I was a “girl mom”….remember?

I wanted a girl to share secrets with…..and yet….my boys still share secrets with me. They are still an open book and still talk to me and still want to have conversation. And I am soooo grateful.

I wanted a girl to color and to draw with …..and my boys are just as willing to dig thru the craft drawer with me and cartoon, or glue or mold with clay. They draw snakes instead of rainbows….but they love to be creative. I thought coloring/art was a “girl thing”….but it turns out it is a CHILD thing!

So I thought I was a “girl mom” and yet I found myself in a creek a few weeks ago….at MY suggestion…..pointing out baby frogs to my boys to catch. And my daughter was there too…..with equal frog catching opportunity.

And I marvel at the amazing way God designed girls and boys…..so very, very different and yet…..similar on so many levels.

When I look at my 8 and 10 year old boys now….I wish we could turn back the clocks and make the time just go slower.

I wish we could trade in their ipods for another read of “Goodnight Moon”.

I wish we could skip going to the PG movies and go back to the kiddy pool again.

I wish we could trade the new pre-adolescent hair on their legs for the squishy, yummy baby thighs they once had.

I wish we could trade the fist bumps we do now for their wet, sloppy 2 year old kisses again.

I wish we could exchange the AXE bodywash for the Baby Magic scent .

I wish we could play hookie from school and sports and schedules and just snuggle in for afternoon naps together with the Teletbubbies on the tv in the background.

Not because I don’t love the age they are at now…..but because I love my boys so much it hurts. And they are just growing into young men too darned fast.

I have been smitten by 2 boys. And it turns out I wasn’t meant to be a “girl mom”…… I was just meant to be my kid’s mom.