You know how sometimes in life you go through a season of joy and laughter and everything seems to be going along so great? And then at other times you think, what the heck is happening here? Yeah, that’s the season I am in. And God never prepares you for it. Rather He refines you through it. And yet, the going through it I feel lonely and vulnerable and naked.
This is a jumbled mess of things going on in my mind:
I am wondering if ever again in my life will I have free time/times when I am bored. With 3 small kids/a husband/a business right now….I am stretched to the max with busy.
I wonder if the economy is going to bounce back? I’ve gone from 4 girls working for me to 2 girls. While 2 girls are way easier to manage…..I really enjoyed the income from having more work. Yet, I am just grateful to have work at all right now.
I am wondering if loyalty is a forgotten virtue.
We have had some dear friends move far, far away.
We’ve watched a family right across the street from us be destroyed my alcoholism, lose their home and have to move away also.
I have learned that some friendships may just be for a season.
I have struggled with Facebook. I want to just get off of it and yet am drawn in like a moth to a flame, only to be disappointed by the lack of authenticity that I see on it. Then I am disappointed in myself that I can’t stay off it. That time would be better spent loving my family or having quiet time that I desperately need.
I am struggling to try to see people as God sees them. I have ran out of grace for a lot of people. And yet I know that the same measure I extend grace to others will be extended back to me.
I sometimes wonder if we/people go to church just to see people and not to worship the ONE it should be all about.
I know I need to be getting sponsors for this blog and yet I just can’t.tackle.another.thing.
No I’m not depressed.
No I am not quitting my blog.
No I haven’t lost my mind.
But I am deep in thought and deep in prayer and trying to make sense of life and keep my priorities straight. For a second, I just wanted to be real and be vulnerable and not pretend life is all peachy and that I have it all together.