So I can’t get this story out of my mind. And usually that means until I blog about it, it’s going to sit there….. bugging me like a strand of gray hair or a picture on my wall that I noticed is hung too high. You understand.
And so I write.
And I hope you will be inspired.
A few weeks ago, one of my best friends and I took our kids to a park here in Kansas City. Gorgeous day. 5 kids needing to get some energy out. It was lovely.
The park had a rock that was in the center of the playground for climbing. It was kind of like this, perhaps a little taller:
It was one of those things that I didn’t want to get on, but all the kids did. And so they did. And everyone played and life was good.
Well eventually us moms were restless and wanted to walk, so we called the kiddos but one of my sons was stuck on the top of the rock. Like, he said he couldn’t get down.
I might add this is my oldest son. My biggest child who is 5’4 and towers over most children. The one who I wanted to be bravest, but he was adamant. He couldn’t bring himself to get down.
I couldn’t really figure out his “stuck-ness”. His 6 year old sister had done it for goodness sake, so at first I thought he was just being dramatic.
But then when I tried to help him make an exit plan, he just couldn’t make it work. He’d start and then feel like his feet (size 11 mind you) were too big for the “ledges” carved out to help you go up and down. Or, he felt like the ledges were too far out of a reach. Too much of a risk.
I was beginning to get frustrated. I mean seriously….get down already, right?
But he wasn’t budging.
So I decided to try a tactic that every amazing, loving, sensitive mom would do…. and leave him there to get an exit strategy on his own.. Before you go all judging, let me tell you I was trying to use reverse phycology on him like I did once when he was 2 and flailing his sweet, little, defiant body on the floor of Antioch Shopping Center. Oh yeah, good times I tell you. Plus I thought us walking away would also take away the pressure of the 6 of us all staring at him and giving him pointers and now strangers listening in to. (I bet they voted me Mom of the Year by the way).
I figured the second we started to walk away that he would shimmy down or jump off or come quick. Like he did when he was 2.
No such luck. We had been gone for about 10 minutes when I realized he wasn’t coming.
So now total mom guilt is setting in because we’ve walked up the way and around the bend where I can no longer spot his red baseball cap on top of that rock. And clearly my crappy, reverse phycology was a huge FAIL and now I’m praying he doesn’t need therapy in this 30’s. For the love.
So I walked back to check on him.
And…… he’s still stuck at the top. So now I’m calling my hubby for advice. And trying to think of how I can help him without SHAMING him. It wasn’t that far up, yet far enough that I didn’t want to go up. The other 4 kids had gone up and down. What? What was the problem?
And then suddenly, as I am pacing and calling my husband and trying to decide what does one do when her man-child is stuck on top of a rock for almost a 1/2 hour….. he was down. Walking towards me. Smiling. What the heck? Did I totally miss his moment of bravery???
“What just happened?” I ask. I swear I had only looked away for like 7.4 seconds.
“Some girl pushed me off” he said GIGGLING. He was giggling people. I had him all in therapy in my mind and he’s laughing.
“What? Why?” I’m trying to decide if he’s serious.
“She said if I didn’t get out of her way, she was pushing me off. And then she did” he laughed.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMG. That’s all it took? I would have had Ava push him off. LOL. And then I could have avoided the whole “reverse phycology” fiasco fail, yet probably instigated World War IV between brother and sister.
And then we went about our day like nothing happened.
And he was fine.
But I wasn’t fine.
I’ve pondered and pondered and pondered this story and here is what keeps coming to me.
You know how sometimes as a grown up, you are “sitting on something”? Maybe a job change…. maybe a health change…. maybe a move…. maybe you want to home school…. maybe an adoption…. maybe a “whatever”. You know because you can’t get rid of the dream or the gnawing in your gut that you should do it. You know that it would more than likely turn out ok if you’d do it and yet for the very life of you, you can’t make the move. YOU ARE STUCK. FROZEN. CAN’T MOVE. The cost of jumping looks so much bigger then remaining where you are.
I get it.
And it annoys those people around you who want you to be bold ….. because they are already bold in that area. Or they have already weighed the cost in their minds and the situation is “safer” to them than it really is to you. Or, they just flat out have no idea what “getting off that rock” would look like.
And then you are “stucker” because the thief of comparison has come in and taunts you with lies that if only you were like so-and-so, you could do it. Or, “I’m not as good as them”. Or the people who should believe in me most (ie: me as his mom —- for the love….) will leave you/won’t back me/will blame me if I fail. Can I remind you in love that the enemy is a LIAR. Fear is a liar. Fear keeps us stuck.
So sometimes to follow our dreams, we need a little push. Thank GOD for the gentle pushers. The friends who come along side and say YOU CAN DO THIS. The mentors who link arms with you and your dreams and show you the way. The little girls on the park rocks who are fed up with you sitting there “paralyzed” , so they “help” you. And a push people rarely think of as a blessing at first is …… unfortunate circumstances.
The way I began my dream of starting my faux finishing company was an unfortunate circumstance. I lost my neat and tidy computer job. Virtually no severance. No plan. Just tears. But it FORCED me into action that I would NEVER have taken if someone had not pushed me off “my rock wall”.
I’m so grateful for being let go now. I hated that job. I was TERRRRRRRIBLE at it. Can you imagine me testing computer software? I only actually did it half of the time anyway because the rest of the time, I was googling that which I wanted to do. Pretty stuff. Pretty walls. Pretty ceilings. Pretty houses. Pretty people. Seriously…. just so grateful.
And my son was so grateful that little girl pushed him off that rock. He could have celebrated his next birthday up on that rock for all we know. He needed help.
So my question for you my sweet readers is, are you STUCK?
Are you TERRIFIED?
Are you drowning in wanting a change but have no idea how to start?
I know that I know that I know that some of you are relating to this email right now because you have already told me!
Your dream is NOT going away…… you’ll either jump in to it (go, so, go you brave one), be pushed into it (thank God I was pushed) or you will bury that thing in the sea of regret forever.
I want to be a cheerleader for you.
I want to help push you where you need pushed.
I will be emailing you a survey soon on how I can best help you (don’t panic….it’s short). Your answers will help me in my coaching program. I’d love it if you’d participate.
I need to tell you that so many of you write to me privately and my heart explodes every time one of you tells me you did “it”. You followed a dream. You tried something new. You got off your rock.
When I get those emails, I know…. that I am exactly, exactly where I am supposed to be. And I’m so grateful for being pushed into action.