Today my daughter turns 3. In honor of her, I’d like to tell you her story. It’s not filled with tragedy or insurmountable circumstances. It’s just a story of how one big God give this Mom the desires of her heart. I love Ava’s story.
When I got pregnant for the first time at age 29, the doctors did an early sonogram on me to determine if I was carrying twins. Instead of twins, I miscarried at 10 weeks. I was shocked and heartbroken. And I mourned.
When I got pregnant again a few months later, I was just sure it was a girl. When the baby turned out to be a boy, I was just overjoyed to be having a healthy baby and carrying it to term. I knew I would be a good “boy mom”. I was thrilled to have a boy. I rejoiced.
When I got pregnant again at age 31, I was sure that this time it was a girl. When that baby also turned out to be a boy, I was still overjoyed. A baby brother for my son Noah…..how perfect. And I rejoiced.
When I tried to get pregnant at age 34, everyone told me I was certain to have another boy. And the odds were in their favor. My father in law is one of 6 boys…and no sisters. I have 2 brothers and 4 stepbrothers. Apart from my sister in law and I….there just aren’t any girls in our family. I was scared that they were right.
But, I prayed and I prayed for a girl. And, I half begged-half believed that God would give her to me.
When we tried for 8 months to get pregnant….I started to worry. Why was it taking so long this time?
When I finally got pregnant again at age 34, I miscarried at 6 weeks. Maybe I was getting too old to get pregnant? I was heartbroken again. And I was scared.
When I continued to try for a baby girl, people who tell me “boys are so much easier…you don’t want a girl”….and I would want to punch them. They had no idea how I wanted a daughter to love. I love my boys with every.ounce.of.my.being. But, I wanted to experience pigtails and nail polish and “girl” stuff. I was frustrated.
When I got pregnant again at age 35, I took 3 pregnancy tests just to be sure. And I rejoiced. This….surely THIS would be my girl!
When I was 12 weeks pregnant, my husband and I flew to San Fransisco for a much needed weekend away. I started to have some light bleeding. And I fought fear. I cried. I wanted to be home with my boys. I ruined our vacation. God bless my husband. That man has been through 5 pregnancies with this hormonal woman.
The bleeding stopped. We praised God. All was well with our baby.
At 16 weeks, we did the tests they advice you have done when you are 35 (“advanced maternal age”)…..and we tried not to be fearful.
When I got the call that my baby had a chance of having Down’s Syndrome, I cried. I panicked. I felt guilty that my immediate response was not knowing if I believed God that the baby would be ok.
Then, my next response was feeling terrible that in my mind…ok somehow equaled no Down’s Syndrome. Was that Christlike? If God gave me a baby with Down’s Syndrome, shouldn’t I just rejoice at getting a baby?? My emotions were just out of control. I was terrified and pleading with God for perfect health for my baby.
When I went in for a level II sonogram….I prayed. They determined our baby had no “markers” of Down’s Syndrome….and I rejoiced. But they also said there was still a 1 in 405 chance she could still be born with Downs anyway. We wouldn’t know for sure until she was born. I tried not to worry.
When they said they couldn’t tell if my baby was a girl or a boy, I was thrown for a loop. The baby wasn’t being uncooperative, the doctor just said he couldn’t tell. WTHeck??????? I panicked and saw my family on a Maury Povich show! I was disappointed and wondering why.couldn’t.this.just.be.a.”normal”.pregnancy. But, is there such a thing?
At 17 weeks pregnant, I paid $100 to some sonogram place in Parkville, MO to tell me if this was a girl or boy because I couldn’t bear not knowing. When they said GIRL ……….I rejoiced. I had just one huge, lonely tear roll down my face because I was so grateful. My God is so good.
When I had a dream she would be born on November 17 (4 days early) and would be perfectly healthy, I cleared my schedule and told everyone I knew to be prepared for my water to break that day. I believed God.
When I found out I was gestational diabetic AGAIN….I was disappointed. But determined to have a healthy baby and not be put on insulin. So I denied myself for her sake and enjoyed every minute of her pregnancy.
When they told us at 34 weeks that we would need to have NST’s and Biophysical exams every week for the rest of the pregnancy, I panicked. My insurance did not cover those tests. And they were $600 every week. I believed God would provide, but yet I fought fear.
When the due date I thought God gave me came and went… I decided I was crazy and had never heard from God in the first place. Maybe I would never hear from Him again. I was irrational. I could barely stand it. I had waited for her for so long.
When she was born 9 days later and I saw she was perfect in every way…..I was forever changed.
When we started getting her hospital/doctor bills a month later for $16K after insurance, I could have cared less. I had my girl!
And as I look into her face today……I am so thankful.
I am so blessed.
I am so thrilled to have a girl to do girl stuff with.
I am so grateful that God hears the cries of our hearts.
And that He sees every tear, every worry, every concern that a mother has.
I’m so glad His heart’s desire is to give us the desires of OUR heart.
And that even when we doubt Him….He remains steadfast to His word.
I’m so grateful for both of my boys and for my girl.
But she……she fills a place in my heart where there was such an ache for so long.
If you are asking God for something today…..believe Him. Maybe it’s for your first baby. Or your 5th. Maybe it’s for a relationship or a job or a mate or a miracle. But, He is who He says He is. He can do what He has told you He will do. You can ask for the desires of your heart. And dare to believe that He will give them to you.
And THAT I believe….is Ava’s story.
Happy 3rd birthday baby girl. Mommy adores you.
**A special thanks to Aimee Decker, owner of Radiant Photography for the photos of Ava and I. If you need a photographer in the Kansas City area, Aimee can be contacted by going here. **
Thanks so much for sharing that!! I, too, have a girl after 2 boys. My Audrey was the first baby girl born to my husband’s family in 100 years!! I was resolved to the fact that I would probably have only boys, but rejoiced when I found out she was a girl. The mother daughter relationship is so special!
Awwwww! I love this story! I’m all choked up. 🙂 I have two girls and a boy. My ex has three girls, we wanted a boy so bad and I thought there was no way. I prayed for a boy and guess what? My son is a healthy 7 year old now! 🙂 Happy Birthday to Ava!
Thank you for sharing. God’s mercy and gifts infinite. All He asks is that we believe. You are truly blessed with Miss Ava’s presence in your life.
I’m crying right now as well, see I’m in a different situation than you. I am pregnant with my 3rd son, a healthy boy that I am so grateful for. Yet also very sad that I won’t be able to experience “girly” things. This will be our last child, my husband was happy with 2 boys and I begged him to give us a third. I, too, prayed for a baby girl but God’s plans for my life are different I guess. . . I do know how blessed I am with my precious HEALTHY sons. My good friend lost her 2nd son shortly after his birth and that reminds me how selfish I am when I am sad that I will never have a daughter. . .
What a sweet sweet story.
We have 3 boys and a girl.
What a wonderful testimony of God’s faithfulness to keep his promises.
Praise him for your little girl and hope she has a blessed birthday today!
What a beautiful story! Happy Birthday to your little princess!
GREAT story. I am glad I had a girl the third time, too, with two boys the first two times! I wasn’t up for trying again. I didn’t have the heartache as you shared, but sure was delighted to have my girl! Your kids are adorable!
I loved reading Ava’s story! You have a beautiful family! Thanks so much for sharing your prayers and anxiety during that time!
I, too, am a firm believer that God honors the desire’s of our hearts. In our case our boy came almost 6 years after our first two girls. And then we were blessed with another girl three years later. God is SO GOOD! I just praise Him for His Faithfulness!
that is a fabulous story. i have 2 girlfriends that each have 2 boys and miscarried on their 3rd pregnancies, both wishing for girls. they are both above 35 now, and nervous about whether to try again. i am going to share your story with them.
Beautiful!!! And your conclusion seems to be straight out of “Believing God”, the Bible study I am leading right now. Happy birthday to your precious baby girl. I love your photos, especially those that include you!!! Blessings!
What a beautiful post! I got a little teary eyed! I am so happy for you and your family. (I got my girl too after having a boy and I love it!)
Wow…what a powerful testimony of Gods love and a sweet tribute to sweet Ava Grace. I was crying my eyes out reading it. A relationship between mothers and daughters is so special. Love you and Little Ava Grace.
Beautiful and powerful, Jennifer. :o)
GOD is so awesome and all the time.
All of that stress and worry and $$$ was just preparation for a girl 🙂 Love Ava’s story!! I am 3 times blessed with my baby girls and I love the relationship between a mom and daughter.
There are prayers every single day from my little Sophie that her Heavenly Father will one day send her a little brother…I am hoping that she too will one day get the desires of her heart!
Happy Birthday Ava Grace!! Hope you had a day filled with love, happiness, friends, family and all things pink!
I love that story Jen. I’m a believer that we need to have more faith that God does answer prayers and gives us righteous desires of our hearts. Miss you.
That is an amazing story, Jennifer. Ava is a gift! I thought I’d have all boys considering there hadn’t been one girl in 3 generations, but by golly, I had 3 girls. Be glad you have the testosterone of three to balance the estrogen of two 🙂
I truly cherish you sharing your life, and your deep faith with us. You fill my heart with so much love, and that’s what we, as God’s people are here to do. You, are doing His work beautifully~ Much love~ Jamie Lee
What a beautiful story! I knew she was precious to you and now I know why. 🙂
Sweet sweet story!
Thanks so much for sharing your heart and story with us. I truly love it and can so relate, not with a baby but with other things that only a woman can. God Bless you. Love, love, love your blog and your creativeness
I never post comments anywhere, but this touched me immensely. I have been blessed with 4 healthy, happy, and wonderful children and I’ve alwasy recognized God’s hand in my life. We are going through another trial of some serious underemployement. I’ve been praying for 19 months straight now for a better job for my husband, and the courage for me to start my dream of a furniture refinishing/repurposing/restoration business so I can be home with my sweet kids. I needed to read this today. I think you were inspired to write it. Thank you so very much for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your story – God is so faithful! I had two boys, two miscarriages, then my girl! Then….drum roll please…another boy. A surprise to us but not to God. I know what you mean about girls, I love her fiercely especially after loosing two! God is an incredible God who hears our cries!
What a great post… makes me want to drive to where my son is going to college and give him a big hug. Thanks for sharing.
Don’t you love the doctors who recommend tests because of “advanced maternal age?” I love my OB, who said you have the option of having tests done. I asked his opinion and he said this, “If finding out that there is a problem with your baby, would cause you to terminate than you may want to know.” I looked at my husband and we both said that we would keep our baby no matter what. He said, “Then why would you take the test?” I said because I would want to prepare. He answered with, “You would spend the rest of your pregnancy worrying and in the end you would still deal with whatever issues were present when the baby was born.”
I thank God for leading me to this OB. He was right. I had my 2nd child at 33 and my 3rd at 39! Thank God they were both born healthy, but if they were not, it would have been okay, too.
Thank you for sharing. I have 2 girls and we desparately want a boy. I miscarried last January at age 34 after having two extremely perfect pregnancies in the past. I was shocked. As of today, I’m still not pregnant and heading to a fertility clinic next week. I’m 35 now and trying to believe that God is hearing my prayers/cries/begging and pleading. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your daughters story. My sister felt the same way as you and after 4 wonderful boys, she got pregnant with her sweet little girl that she just treasures. I have a girl and a boy and I know that the lord gives us people when we need them.
What a great read! Thank you! I love my girls, too! I never thought I’d have a girl, but LOVE having them! I do feel badly for my sister: she tried and tried for a girl and only got….8 BOYS before she had to give up trying for her body’s sake. I hope and pray she gets lots of wonderful granddaughters some day to make up for it!!!
Absolutely beautiful! We had 3 girls and knew we weren’t done but trying for another became a very trying time for the both of us. We questioned ouselves, each other, and God. Three losses and an a whole lot of insecurity passed in a short amount of time. We prayed, begged, pleaded for an answer and healing but nothing came… Then another positive, plenty of fear, but it felt different this time. Here we are now with a beautiful baby boy who is incredibly special. Not that his sisters aren’t by any means, there’s just something about him so calm and loving. I know He sent him here, just for us. It’s beautiful what God does!
This is hard for me to read. I had four girls. Each time I wanted a boy and each time I was thrilled with a girl, until the fourth. Then I was mad and SAD. Oh How I wept. But the Lord was blessing me through this girl. HE showed me that I had an idol. Something I thought we make me happy if I had it. HE blessed me through this great disappointment by afflicting me. For His Glory, that I may be truly happy by being truly fulfilled in Him. His Grace to have joy through the day to day, the good and the bad. I would not have known it otherwise. So I still want a boy, but I want Christ more. Because I know that His grace is sufficient, for His power is made perfect in weakness. Blessings! THanks for sharing! PS I love your stuff, I painted my way though college with murals and faux finishing!
Your story encourages me on my own journey… HIS timing is perfect and it doesn’t always match up to when we want it or what we want. We’ve been trying for 2 yrs now. I look at my life, and know HE is right, it hasn’t been HIS time yet. Actually for the first time since this journey started, we’ve actually started considering adoption as an actual option. Who knows what will be our path in the end. It’s a blessing and I can only hope and pray however HE answers it, we will deal with it when and whatever happens. Blessings to you.
Goodness gracious could be any more annoying? It’s as if you value the life of a male less than that of a female. Couldn’t you have been happy with a third boy? You completely have rubbed me the wrong way and I will no longer be following hour Facebook page.